


Just a regular everyday normal couple

by DanicaGentozzi



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Jake Peralta & Amy Santiago - Fandom, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago - Fandom
Genre: Domesticity meme, F/M, Future, Headcanon, parallels with the show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 04:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1537334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanicaGentozzi/pseuds/DanicaGentozzi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake and Amy struggling with the everyday little things that every couple, at one time or another, have to go through in a relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a regular everyday normal couple

**Author's Note:**

> *** These drabbles were inspired by Lilypupu's stories on "Rest your bones" (http://archiveofourown.org/works/1507874), an answer to the Domesticity Meme proposed on Tumblr (http://danicashipper.tumblr.com/post/83561154291/domesticity-meme-gimmie-a-ship).  
> *** I really loved her story and got excited to make my own version of the meme. So I chose the second set of questions.  
> *** A while ago a certain Andy Samberg's picture showed up on Tumblr, for what I commented that I could see some 'Jake x Amy' action there. So guys, visual prompt (http://danicashipper.tumblr.com/post/82722651850/for-some-reason-this-image-made-me-picture-jake). You'll understand when you get there.

**Who cooks normally?**

                “Hey Ames, can you pass me the pepper please?” Jake asks while stirring the mushroom sauce he’s preparing.

                She’s watching as he cooks — making a mess of the kitchen, as usual — in only a pair of boxers and an apron, his ‘official cooking uniform’ or so he says. Amy doesn’t complain about that. She very much enjoys the view from behind him where she stands keeping track of his every movement.

“Hmm, pepper. Really?” She replies as she passes him the paper.

                Every time Amy tries to cook, something goes terribly wrong. Taste-wise, usually. Yet, she still insists in being around Jake whenever he decides to make a meal. She loves — needs — to give her two cents about every ingredient he picks, how long the steaks are supposed to be on the grill, how he should be doing circular motions when stirring the sauce instead of elliptical ones, and so on. But, the thing she really loves about all her nitpicking is the slightly annoyed face he makes every once in a while due to her comments.

                He's cute when he's annoyed. And, really, he’s usually the annoying one, so she must admit that it feels good to switch it around sometimes.

                If only she knew that he loves to see her attempts at trying to annoy him. Sometimes, he even plays along just to see the satisfied grin on her face, and to feel the peck that she always land on the back of his neck trying to, somehow, silently apologize for her persistent comments.

 

**How often do they fight?**

                “Jacob Peralta! I swear to God that I’m going to be done with you one of these days!” Amy shouts, marching inside the apartment and standing between the couch and the TV, where Jake was playing his PS4.

“Calm down, what is going on?” He knows he’s in trouble. He has no idea why though.

“ _You_ put the recycling in the garbage bin again. Guess what? We got another fine! Another, Jake! It's the second time this month!”

                Amy always thought that living together would improve their financial situation rather than make it worse, but apparently Jake's attitude regarding money had carried over from his time alone to their time living together.

“Oops.”

                That's all he says. Like, literally all he says before trying to look around her at the television. But, this time Amy is not in the mood to let him get away with it.

“Oh no, mister! Don't you ‘oops’ me again. You are paying this stupid fine _. You_ are, no sharing this time.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I got distracted with my IPod and didn’t even check what kind of garbage I was throwing away. It won’t happen again, Peralta guarantee.” He promises, pulling her by the hand to sit beside him.

“Oh God, it better not Jake! We’re trying to pick ourselves up here, not dig deeper.”

                Jake understands her frustration. After all, she's the one helping him with his money problems, so he has to try harder on his part.

“I know, I know. I’m truly sorry.” He finally lets the joystick go and pulls her in for a hug.

“It’s okay, just be more careful. You do realize that we’ve been fighting over this same thing every other week since you moved in, don’t you?” She kisses him, anger having faded.

"Well, I like to be consistent." Jake says cheekily, wearing his biggest mocking smile. A light punch on his arm doesn't take long to come after that comment.

"Shut up and play your games, Peralta." Amy huffs.

 

**What do they do when they’re away from each other?**

                "Okay, bye."

_"Hey, don't forget I love you."_

"Love you too."

_"Bring me some souvenir from there, so I can always remember the agony I went through when I was away from you."_

"Yes, I'll bring you as many presents as I can, but I need to go now."

_"Okay, bye then. See you in 4 days, 2 hours and about 42 minutes."_

"See you Saturday."

_"Oh, and don't you take twelve hours to answer my texts, or my whatsapp messages, or to check the snapchat pictures I send you."_

"Jake..."

_"And don't forget to login onto Skype every night! Okay, go now, this call is already using all my credits."_

"I'll miss you too. Bye."

                Rosa sighs and gives Amy a dirty look. They're in a public place and PDA, even by phone, always manages to make Rosa uncomfortable.

“What? Peralta gets a little needy when we're apart. Blame him.” Amy says, grinning at her current partner.

“You guys saw each other this morning, for god's sake!”

                The two detectives are currently attending this conference about ‘Women in the Police Forces’ sponsored by the government. And, really, not even Rosa could say no to some beach days in Florida for free, even if it means having to go to those 'pride meetings' with a bunch of old cops _pretending_ they think it's super cool to have all these women kicking bad guys asses and being damn good at it.

“Maybe it’s because of the FBI thing.” Rosa pipes up, after a moment of non-awkward silence.

“Pardon me?” Amy is truly surprised. Rosa, unlike their other friends, usually restrains herself from commenting on Amy’s relationship with Jake, except in the joking manner, but still.

“Yeah, I mean, the guy went through some pretty shitty times during that whole undercover thing. And we all know that he already liked you, so he must know what longing feels like. Maybe that’s why he’s acting all weird, romantic and stuff.”

                _Well_ , this is a side of Rosa Diaz that Amy doesn’t get to see very often, and it makes her heart warm that their bond has evolved enough that she’s comfortable sharing some of this side with her. She's truly an odd-yet-incredible friend. And wise, because this actually makes a lot of sense.

“Or maybe it’s just his daddy-issues again, or whatever.” Rosa adds.

“No, no. I think you might be right. Maybe, Rosa, maybe.”

 

**Nicknames for each other?**

                “Babe, can you hand me the stapler?” Amy requests, still looking down at the paper work she was sorting out at her desk. She doesn’t realize her mistake until Jake calls her attention.

“Excuse me, Detective Santiago, did you just call me ‘babe’?” He’s already laughing anticipating the inevitable freak out about to come. They had agreed since the beginning to keep things professional when in the precinct, and that meant that nicknames were out of question.

                Except Amy just let that one sneak out.

“Oh, shit.” She mumbles, her eyes growing wide.

                ‘Babe’, she called him ‘babe’. In the precinct. With Captain Holt just a few feet away from them in his office. She always expected that Jake would be the one to babble and call her ‘sweetie’ or ‘hon’ or ‘beautiful’ in the precinct and everyone would make fun of them — which they are totally doing right now, by the way — and then the Sergeant would tell them in a paternal tone that this is not appropriate in the work environment or something.

                But no, she was the one who did it. And it had to be ‘babe’ of all the nicknames… ‘Babe’ is their romantic-stylez-situation nickname, reserved only for moments of looking deeply into each other’s eyes or cuddling lazily in bed on a Sunday morning. She figures it could have been worse though. She could have said something deeper or more exposing of their private life and called him 'handsome'.

                And she _only_ uses 'handsome' as a nickname for him when they're flirting. The usual scenario is Jake arriving home late from work, then immediately going to wherever she is, hugging her from behind and whispering in her ear "Hello, beautiful."

                For what she answers, “Well, hello to you, handsome.”

 

**Who is more likely to pay for dinner?**

                “Okay, let me have this.” Jake says when the waiter arrives, grabbing the restaurant bill from his hands.

“It’s fine, give it to me.” Amy asks, motioning towards the checkbook.

“What? No!” He responds, his ego striking once again.

“Jake, c’mon. It’s no big deal."

"It's a big deal for me, Amy."

"We can at least share.”

“No, no, no. Any other day it would be okay, but today it’s our anniversary. There’s no sharing the bill on our anniversary." He hands one of his credit cards to the waiter who was watching their discussion with a small smile on his face. Amy just rolls her eyes.

“I love you too, babe.” He replies, reaching for her hand over the dinner table.

 

**Who steals the covers at night?**

                “Amy Santiago, am I gonna have to flash my badge at you?!” Jake groans, trying to pull the covers away from her.

“What?” She responds half-asleep, not even bothering to turn to look at him.

“You’re stealing all the covers. Again.” He’s still tugging at the covers, but she’s strong, so the covers haven’t moved.

“No, I’m not. Let me sleep!” Amy’s just saying words now, not even conscious they’re having this conversation.

“Okay, Amy Santiago. I’m done with this!” Jake turns in the bed, throws his arms around her waist and pulls her extremely close to him, wrapping his legs around hers to hold her tight.

“Oh my God, what are you doing?” The surprise seems to have _finally_ awakened her.

“I’m trying to get warm. So since you need to have all the covers around you, I’ll be all over you as well. And I mean all night long, like a sloth.” He teases, fidgeting in the bed, trying to get comfortable in this new position.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m _not_ going to complain about that.” She smiles to herself, eyes still closed.

 

**What would they get each other for gifts?**

                “Happy Valentine’s Day!” He wakes her up with breakfast in bed. “So, what did you get me?”

“Smooth, Jakey. Wouldn’t you rather eat first and then open your present? This looks delicious.” Amy says, sitting up on their bed. She’s been awake for a while now waiting for the surprise Jake said was coming for her.

                She’s not disappointed.

“What? No, c’mon! I’m _dying_ out of curiosity here, Amy.” He’s jumping on the bed out of excitement, looking like the giant adorkable creature that he is.

“Alright, go grab yours and I'll grab mine.”

                She is already up going through her things, but Jake is still there, sitting still in the bed.

“What are you doing there, no present?”

                He just grins.

“Oh, I have a present, Santiago…”

“Please, tell me it’s not the ‘dick in a box’ thing!” She cuts him off, never letting him do anything cool — his words.

“Shut up... What I meant was that I already have your present here. It's been hidden all this time right under your nose. Or, rather, under your feet.”

                He leans down and takes a box wrapped in a light pink paper from under the bed. It has a card and everything.

“Happy Valentines! Hope you like it.” He says, giving it to her along with a small kiss on the cheek.

“Oh, thanks babe.” She sits back down on the bed and unwraps the box.

                Inside the box, there’s a white, thirteen-inch tall, ceramic cat. She _love_ s it. “Oh my God! A Maneki Neko, I always wanted one of these!” She jumps on Jake, covering him all over with thank you kisses. “This is sooo perfect!”

“I knew you’d love it! When I saw it I just had to buy it for you.” Jake says with a huge smile on his face. It feels _so_ good making her happy. “I mean, this one isn’t horrible like your dollies, but I guess it will still go well with the theme. Besides, it’s a cat, so no allergies.” He makes an over the top winky face, Jake’s signature.

                Amy grabs her bag, takes out a small rectangular package and hands it to Jake.

“Okay, my turn. I'm sure you’ll like it.”

“Oh, really. Feeling cocky, huh?” He shakes the package, wide eyes looking brightly at her. Amy just smiles, telling him to go on. He opens it and immediately jumps up from the bed, arms held high, a blu-ray case in one hand and a closed fist in the other.

“YES!!! A PS4 game, I can’t believe! I have the best girlfriend in the story of EVER!” Now it’s his turn to hug and kiss her like there’s no tomorrow.

“Well, you wouldn’t shut up about this game for weeks, so I figured getting it would make my life easier. And I know I’ll hate all the attention you’ll give to this thing, but I’m glad you like it.” She kisses him again. "Now, please, let's eat."

 

**Who kissed who first?**

                “So, that’s it. I guess I’ll see you on Monday.” He’s blushing. Jake Peralta is blushing.

                _Oh_ , Amy could totally mock him right now, if only he wasn’t looking so adorably cute while doing it.

“Yes. I’m curious to know in which of your date’s list this night will end up on.” Amy shyly admits, letting her gaze slips down to his lips just for a second.

“Oh, right. I wanna check your list as well.”

                They share a small laugh and it’s so natural that it’s almost a little overwhelming.

“I should probably go now. Hug good night?”

                Amy doesn’t answer his question. She doesn’t have to, because she thinks wrapping her arms around his torso and resting her head on his shoulder is a clear enough message. Jake rests one of his hands on the small of her back and wraps his other arm around her shoulders, bringing her in for a tight hug.

                The hug feels so comfortable that Amy knows they would have stayed hugging for a while if Jake hadn’t had the urge to say, “hugs” in his sexy voice and made them both crack up laughing.

                While still half-hugging and smiling at each other, Jake leans in and Amy closes the distance between their lips. It’s not a big, long, passionate kiss. It’s a sweet, gentle, and quick kiss, filled with fondness.

“Hmm… I really gotta go now.” He says when they break apart, a big smile on his face. “It’s super late and I need to go home to practice my sexy voice.”

                They share a small laugh again and Jake is convinced that making her smile is his life mission.

“You probably should. Night… Peralta.” They walk side-by-side to Amy’s front door.

“Night, Santiago.”

                Jake’s already walking away when he decides to turn around on the stairs and say one last thing to her.

“And Amy... spoiler alert! It gets the first spot on the good date list.”

 

**Who made the first move?**

                They’ve been going out on dates for the past couple of weeks. Nobody knows yet. Except for maybe Charles, who is highly suspicious — which means that everybody will find out as well in the near future.

                Things are going well. Really well, actually. So well that they’re now making out in one Jake’s massage chairs — the biggest one, which still can’t quite fit two people. A fact that only turned the make out session into something even more intimate.

“Are we dating?” Jake asks, while alternating between kissing Amy's mouth, ear, neck and shoulder.

“What?!” She replies, breathing heavily against his neck, hands holding tight on his hair.

“Are we dating?” It takes him a couple of minutes to ask the question again, his mouth being kind of busy on her upper chest.

“Hmm…" She moans. "We _are_ on a date, if that’s what you mean.” They kiss again, hands roaming all over the place.

“No…” He answers, trying to catch his breath. “I mean, are we a couple?” Jake holds her gaze this time.

                Amy takes a few seconds to answer, regaining her normal breath.

“Not yet. That’s only after we have sex.”

                He’s staring at her, searching her eyes and processing what she just said. He wants more than to just date her, he wants to be her boyfriend. God, he wants it more than anything.

                And Amy would want that too, if she were in a more rational state, but right now all she wants is for him to get her message.

“Hmm…” He murmurs, arching an eyebrow. She gives him a quick peck on his lips.

“Do I need to be more clear here?” Amy questions while sliding her hands down his bare chest, his abdomen, and finally, to his belt.

 

**Who remembers things?**

                “Okay, I got the milk and the butter. Do you have the bread?” Amy asks, pushing the shopping cart around the grocery store.

“I have the bread, and I also took the liberty to grab some mint oreos. It was near by.” He smirks at her, placing the items in the cart. “Now what else?”

“Let me see… I guess we’re short on eggs, cheese and, if I not mistaken, toilet paper.” Amy replies, trying to remember everything else they have to buy.

“I’m telling you, we gotta start writing down the shopping list.” He grabs the cheese as they walk by the dairy cooler and puts it in the cart.

“I don’t need a list for groceries Jake. My memory is excellent. Besides, my mom had a ten people family to shop for and she never needed a list to remember what to buy.” Amy says, looking at egg cartons.

“Your memory might be good for names, numbers, birthdays and anniversaries Ames, but we always end up forgetting to buy some groceries. Admit it. And, for the record, your mom put eight children in the world, which means she’s obviously a super-hero and solving any big family related issue is her super-power. I’m not impressed.”

“Please…” She rolls her eyes at him. “We’re only missing the toilet paper. You go grab it and I’ll hold a place in line.”

“Okay. Are you sure it’s just that though?”

“Of course, I am sure, Jacob. C’mon, go, go.”

                Jake and Amy arrive at home soon after, bringing the groceries upstairs to their apartment and placing the itens in the correct kitchen cabinets.

“Hey sweetie, want some coffee?” Jake doesn’t even wait for Amy’s answer to grab their NYPD's mugs.

“Sure, that sounds good, thanks babe.” She answers, lying on the couch to read yet another Tom Clancy book.

                Jake starts sorting out everything he needs to brew the coffee when he notices something is missing.

“Ames…”

“Huh?” She calls, never taking her eyes off the book.

“Remember last night when I told you we were out of coffee filters and that we should make a shopping list starting with that?”

                Jake can’t contain his amusement telling her. He just leans against the counter and watches as her expression changes from calm to angry.

“Oh fuck!”

 

**Who started the relationship?**

                Jake and Amy are the last ones in the bar, as usual. They’re playing Kwazy Cupcakes on Jake’s phone, drinking beer, and laughing about nothing and everything.

“So, when are you going to invite me out for a real date?” Amy asks, her fourth beer finally giving her the courage to put the topic out there.

                Jake chokes on his beer. “What?!”

“What what? I don’t have Alzheimers Jake, and neither do you.” Jake kind of wishes he had Alzheimer’s right now.

“I…” He hesitates. “I never thought you would actually be interested.” He says looking down at the table, nervously playing with his bottle of beer.

“Jake.” He looks up at her. “We’re incredible friends, great partners, and we deeply care about each other. How can I not be interested? Besides, we’re both single and every Friday night we end up hanging out just the two of us in this bar. We have fun, don’t we?”

“You’re drunk…” He doesn’t know what to think of this. Is she friend-zoning him now? Is she asking him out? What the hell is she doing?!

“I might be a little drunk, but I’m still completely conscious of my words.” She puts her beer down on the table and holds on to his forearm. “Jake, all I’m saying is that I care about you, a lot. So if you ever wanna ask me to hang out, grab a bite to eat, have a good conversation and then call it a date, I’ll say yes.”

                Maybe it’s the alcohol, but Jake is still very confused. Should he ask her out? Is that what she means here? That she’ll give him – them – a try?

                There’s only one way to find out.

“Alright, I’ll pick you up at 8pm tomorrow then.”

“Good, works for me.”

They don’t talk about it anymore that night.

 

**Who cusses more?**

                “FUCK!” Jake screams, jumping from the couch. “Fuck it! Can you believe this referee?” He shouts.

“Calm down Jake, it’s just a game.” Amy tells him from the kitchen where she’s drinking some coffee that Jake just prepared.

“Just a game?! This is not ‘just a fucking game’ because you don’t understand it, Santiago! It’s the fucking play-offs and this stupid referee is clearly against the Nets!”

                Jake always loses it when the Nets are way behind on the score, always.

“Okay, first of all, stop screaming 'fuck' like it’s no big deal. I have elderly neighbors. Second, I do understand basketball; I just don’t care about it. And third, watch out how you talk to me or I’ll have to kick your ass.”

“Sorry! It’s just.. AH, this fucker referee!”

“Jake!”

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” Jake puts his arms up as if asking for a truce.

                He sits back on the couch and puts his legs on the coffee table. As he crosses his legs on the table, his foot accidentally collides with one of Amy’s dolls. The ceramic doll falls on the floor, breaking into several pieces. He’s fucked and he knows it.

                Amy looks up from her coffee and her eyes widen in anger.

“Que te pasa pendejo?!" She's suddenly screaming at the top of her lungs. "Por Dios, no te puedo creer! Carajo!” Amy stares in fury at Jake, waiting for an answer, as if he would know what she’s saying. She doesn’t care, her mother gave her that doll and now it’s broken. She’s so pissed off.

“Okay, first of all, I have no idea what you just said, except that it was bad and that you kinda looked cute all pissed off and stuff.” Amy is sending him a deathly stare, but he doesn’t let her cut him off. “Second, I know your mom gave you that one but, in my defense, it doesn’t change the fact that it was a really ugly. And third, watch out how you talk to me or I’ll have to kick your ass.”

                Jake remains still, waiting for more shouting or loud outbursts of rage.

It never comes.

                Instead, Amy seems calm again. So calm – so fast – that it almost scares Jake even more.

“Clean that up, Peralta.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He answers with a gulp.

 

**What would they do if the other one was hurt?**

                “Ouch!” Amy hears Jake scream from the living room.

“What happened?! Are you hurt?!” She comes running in from their bedroom to see what’s going on.

“Yes. I cut my finger on the credit card bill.” He says, putting his index finger inside his mouth. “They’re taking my money and now they want my blood too.”

“Oh, please Jake, it’s paper cut. That’s nothing.”

“Nothing? Are you kidding?! I’m severely injured here!”

“Oh, poor thing. Do you need me to kiss your boo-boo so it heals faster?” Amy teases, intending to mock Jake — big man whining about a little paper cut — but, obviously, he immediately gets into it.

“Hmm… I do actually. Can you please?” Jake makes a pained face and extends his hand towards Amy, the index finger that was just inside his mouth now pointed up in Amy’s direction.

                Amy walks closer to him and puts one knee on the couch between his legs. She takes his hand and kisses his finger right where the paper cut is.

“Is it better now?” She arches her eyebrow to him.

“Hmm… not yet.”

                Jake is putting up a pretty good act here, she must admit.

                She takes Jake's index finger into her mouth, from the tip to the base, and sucks on it slowly, caressing it with her tongue. He moans. She could stay there looking at his mesmerized expression for ages, but at the end of the day, what’s the fun in that?

She pulls his finger out.

“Too bad. If you weren’t so severely injured I could have had a little fun with you. But, you know, injured people should need a lot of rest.” She says and starts walking away from him, going back to the bedroom.

“Oh my God, it’s a miracle! I’m healed!” He yells, getting up and running to the bedroom. “Amy, wait! I’m healed!”

**Author's Note:**

> *** A huge Thank You to Sadie (http://myparade.tumblr.com/) for the amazing proofread and insights.  
> *** The title of this fic is inspired by the song "Everyday Normal Guy" by the comedian Jon Lajoie (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PsnxDQvQpw).  
> *** Agnesteresaa throwed this idea (http://agnesteresaa.tumblr.com/post/83872840173/ive-decided-i-want-amy-to-get-really-mad-a-jake) at the 'Jake x Amy' tag on Tumblr, so I tried to incorporate on the story.  
> ***Thanks for reading, comments are more than welcomed. ;)


End file.
